The Nameless Crowd

By Stephanie Nicole

Whenever I even think of doing something big, there are four or five faces that pop into my mind.

As I begin to collect my thoughts about whatever it is I am thinking of doing, I can see their eyes rolling and lips curling into a sneer.  They stand in a small group, whispering to each other.  They are looking over their shoulder at me, laughing in agreement from time to time.  And then, they cross their arms and watch.  As I start to move toward that goal, they wait for me to fail.

It happens in a fleeting moment, really.  And then I begin to rethink my plans.

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The funny thing is, I cannot put names to those faces.  They are a representative of all the people I have ever injured.  They are the spectators of my past failures and embarrassments.  They are the people who knew me when I was a sharp-tongued, angry, hurting young woman who was just scratching the surface of some deep wounds.

They are the friends I abandoned.

They are the victims of my gossiping tongue and hard-hearted resentment.

They are the people that I alienated with my unkindness.

What do you to when the Nameless Crowd appears with a list of all your mistakes on poster boards for your review just as you’re about to do something fearless?

What do you do when you know better than anyone that you’re far from perfect and you’re still stepping out in faith that God is going to do something with the talents and gifts He has entrusted to you?

What do you do when His grace gets real, right in your space, and YOU’RE the one you have to extend grace to?

What do you do with all the feelings about it?

You run to the Only One who knows it all and still holds His arms open.

Jesus, we cry out to you today.  Let YOUR grace flow into the places we haven’t allowed it to reach – the places in our hearts that need healing and freedom.  Let Your Holy Spirit transform what is broken and bring Your glory to the forefront.  Let forgiveness and mercy reign in our hearts, as You change us from the inside out.

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Stephanie Nicole is a radio personality,
blogger and worship leader.
You can catch up with her at
withstephanienicole.com